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I’ve had a new intern in my office (we’ll call her Intern Barbie) for the past 8 weeks. Friday is her last day.

Intern Barbie: What is an “H.O.C”?

Me: Huh?

Intern Barbie: An “H.O.C”. My performance review says something about how well i do with them and I don’t know what it is.

Me: (turning around to stare at her computer monitor) Read it from the beginning.

Intern Barbie: This section says “a.d h.o.c” projects.

Me: OH. Ad Hoc projects.

Intern Barbie: Yeah. What’s that?

Me: It’s like side projects that weren’t planned. Like the one you did for BossMan yesterday afternoon.

Intern Barbie: OH! My manager said that I did a really good job with those projects and I didn’t know what she meant. I figured it was a good thing.

Holy Crap. The girl is comedy gold. Forget my blogstipation. I should have started sharing this stuff with you earlier.

50% Geek

I’m thinking that’s quite enough geek for me.

I just paid $70.62 for gas.  Seriously.  I get the fact that I put premium gas in my car (damn BMW.  But I do get better gas mileage.  I checked.), but regular was $4.23/gal.  I’m now plotting the fun things to do within WALKING DISTANCE of my house.

Gotta go take a very hot shower.  I feel violated.

PS.  The finger print looking thingy that’s holding the receipt to that poor candle?  Pancake syrup.  Couldn’t find any tape and that stuff’s better than any glue-stick ever made.  Just keepin’ it real

Last weekend I was in New York to see the

VS.

game.

But first, I flew to Philadelphia and headed straight to my friend B’s bar

to meet some friends from my old SuperSecret job for some outstanding Belgian beer before we headed to

for tapas and martini’s.  On the way back to B’s apartment (a whole two blocks away), we stopped by

for some mint chocolate chip. 

Two hours and about $30 in tolls later, we arrived at B’s parents house in Long Island.  When I woke up in the morning, I went outside and found the coolest thing.

All of the houses on B’s parents block backed up to canals that led to the bay.  Mom, Dad, can I move to Long Island? 

After meeting B’s lovely parents, we caught the train into the city for the game.  Last time we went to a Yankees game, we started out at this New York institution:

This time, we met up with B’s friends at a tailgate for chicken and eggplant parm and BEER.  (was too busy drinking BEER to get permission from everyone to plaster their faces on the internet, so no pic for you here)

Once we were nice and liquored up, we stumbled to our seats to watch the game.

 And what amazing seats they were!

Thankfully, I drank enough BEER to survive this score

If the score had been reversed, I might have had to fight the ultimate Yankees fan.

I figured that if I can take 14 five year olds, I could handle him.  But I’m not sure that wasn’t the BEER talking.

 After the game, we met up with B’s friend Cat for dinner.

The restaurant was called Lotus.  And it was empty because we had the first reservation of the night at 7pm. 

I’m sure that the place was very Zen, but I kept getting distracted by the BIG SHINY THING hanging from the ceiling.  Cuz you know, disco balls are a decidedly Asian influence. 

After dinner, we stopped by a cool little bar for a(nother) drink.

 After McKenna’s, we were going to catch a comedy show, but between the fact that we might miss the drunk train back to Long Island by the time the show was over and the sad fact that I HAD A HANGOVER AT 11pm, we decided to head back to B’s parents house.

Because in the morning, it was time to go here

to pick out dinner! 

Since B’s an expert at lobster-wrangling, she did the honors

 She totally needed a LOBSTERTRICIAN tshirt like the guys that worked there were wearing.

Speaking of the LOBSTERTRICIANs, they cooked up our dinner for us,

and split and cracked them for us to take home

By that time, we were seriously hungry, but it was too early for dinner.  So B’s amazing parents took us to lunch in the nearby town of Freeport, home of the Nautical Mile.

After lunch on the deck with an unexpected free performance by the Blue Angels, we strolled down the block to play some

Here I learned two interesting facts; waterfalls in Long Island look like either blue cotton candy or blue toilet water AND B’s mother uses creative counting methods to win at miniature golf.

The rest of the evening was spent hanging out with B’s parents and learning the proper way to eat lobster.  Not a bad Sunday night!

The next morning it was time to head home.  But first, I had to experience one last New York specialty

We took our yummy breakfast bagel sandwiches to the beach. 

While we were walking the boardwalk, I looked toward the Atlantic Ocean and saw this

Speedos in May.  This confirms that New Yorker’s are insane.  And have interesting fashion sense.

After the beach it was time to head back to Philly to catch my plane home.  As we drove, I threw a huge thanks to New York and the Statue of Liberty for a great time.  And go figure, NYC had the last word:

**A huge thanks to B and her parents for being such great hosts.  I had a wonderful time and can’t wait for B to come out to Seattle in September!

Apparently my shit has not totally been gathered.  So in the meantime, enjoy this little piece of work:

*snort*. 

PETA cracks me up in one of those can’t-stop-watching-the-train-wreck kind of ways.  While this ‘PSA’ is too steamy to be shown on MTV, it will start airing in Seattle on KSTW-TV. 

Never underestimate Seattle’s willingness to live on the edge.

Holy God what a weekend!  I took exactly 612 photos while I was busy burning myself to a crisp and am furiously digging through them to give you a first-hand look.  Hopefully I’ll have my shit together by tomorrow.  I managed to make my “glimpse” come 100% true and then some, so check back in with me on Wednesday, okay you two three?

This weekend I’ll be in 

to see the

VS.

game on Saturday.

But first, I’ll fly in to Philadelphia so I can go to my friend B’s bar

and have dinner at

and probably several of these:

with some of my friends from my old SuperSecretJob before we head to

to stay with B’s parents.

In

most tourists would check out

and

but I’ll probably be trying to avoid being made to eat a

from one of these:

and spending LOTS of time in places like this:

trying not to get into arguments with these:

since I’ll most likely have no idea what I’m talking about.

I hope we make it back to 

because I hear we’re going to feast on

(heh, not THAT one)

that we get to pick out of a tank and maybe relax on the

while we nurse our inevitible

Sound like fun?

Thanks to the laser-sharp eyes of Kristina, we now have a winner of the first “Post Easter Egg” game (thinking maybe I’ll be working on a better title) and a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com.

When I started processing the picture of my new Kindle, all I could see was a nice shiny-bright F-bomb sitting right in the middle of the image.  I thought to myself, “Self?  This is no good!  It’s bad enough that your friends think your taste in literature is one step above Britney Spear’s taste in clothing.  What kind of off-the-cuff crap will you get for this?”.  And the reply was “Jen? Who the hell cares?  Oh, and by the way?  Quit admitting to having conversations with me.  You know that’s a one-way ticket to a straight jacket, right?”.

Ahem…moving on.

I sarted reading Jen Lancaster’s blog after finding her as one of the hilarious contributors to the now-defunct Snarkywood.  Since then, she’s published not one, but three memoir-style books (the most recent just made the USA Today bestseller list, GO JEN!!) where she thinks and says the things that never make it past my internal filters (surprising, huh?).  The book my Kindle was serving up to me on a beautiful digital platter was Bright Lights, Big Ass, and the page in the image above was explaining exactly what happens when you get sucked into those stupid workplace charity campaigns (March of Dimes/United Way, anyone?  I know you can feel her pain!).  Anywhoo, Bright Lights was a great read, just like this one was and this one will be (now if she’ll only publish her latest in a Kindle edition, I’d kiss her feet).

So there you go.  Congrats on taking the time to getting the magnifying glass out, Kristina!
 

Not a good sign.  Right?

94%DRUNKARD

Maybe I’d rather be able to only take 14 five year olds in a fight.